I’m in conversation with the doctor.
She just said something I find counter-intuitive.
She said at any given point in time, female sex-workers are less likely than women in general to have sexually transmitted infections.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hm.
Well first it depends on the place.
I’m in a clinic on Victoria Island (VI). Victoria Island is one of the more affluent parts of Lagos. Sex workers here would generally be in association with a more affluent and health-conscious clientele. And consequently I imagine their employer would ensure they underwent medical checks on a frequent basis.
And so first I think her perspective varies by location. I’ve spent time in different parts of Lagos and so I’m somewhat aware of how different things can be. Take Obalende for example.
Second, I disagree with her choice of words.
Her words were “They are cleaner than the general woman you come across on the street”.
I don’t know about “cleaner”.
I don’t see how someone who has sex with other people for purely financial reasons, is cleaner than someone who doesn’t. I don’t see how that works.
But I definitely see the logic in her thinking.
I first visited this clinic a few weeks ago. I had some things I felt I needed to discuss with a healthcare professional.
I was in VI for the weekend.
There’s this interesting DJ guy (I think. I don’t know who exactly is behind it), who throws really cool parties I like to come around for. Pretty frequently they fly in DJs from other countries to perform. I think it was a few weeks ago they flew in Hanna Hais from Paris. It was fun.
I’m not sure who exactly is behind the Instagram page that announces new parties, but whoever it is definitely has considerable international exposure. People generally seem to be aware of this, because there’s usually a substantial expatriate presence at the parties.
The events are cool, and the prices are fine. Nothing like the usual overpriced bougie Victoria Island events. I get annoyed by a lot of them because they’re so much about spending money and exhibiting financial capability, than they are about genuine interactions with other people.
Lagos can get very annoying. You can spend an entire week going out every night in Victoria Island and still not feel like you’ve really met anyone. I think it’s partly because at events in Lagos people generally keep to themselves a lot:
They go out with people they know.
When they’re out, they talk almost entirely with those people they went out with.
And when they leave, they leave with the people they came with.
Lagos makes me miss cities I’ve lived where people frequently go out with the primary intention of meeting new people.
The only people I know in Lagos who regularly do this, are the women who go out for parties and stuff, with plans to meet guys who will pay them for sex.
Like seriously. And it’s normal. Like, very normal. That’s just the normal thing. It even has a name.
See, let’s not even go there yet. Let’s still talk about some other stuff.
I got a ride from the hotel where I spent the night, to the clinic- all the while wincing about the inflation that came along with the COVID-19 pandemic. Everything is more expensive. The places I stay whenever I’m in VI, are now about 50% more expensive than they used to be. Hotel prices have gone up, and I’ve quickly realised that my personal surveys on the cost-effectiveness of different hotels around VI are now outdated. A lot of things are different now.
I got to the clinic like Okay I’d like to speak with the doctor.
The clinic is actually very visually appealing. Medicenter. I found it via a Google search. A considerable amount of effort went into the aesthetic of the place.
Got a brief glimpse of CNN on the TV in the waiting room. Something about Lebron James getting the COVID vaccine. I spent some time wondering why that was on (inter)national TV.
The receptionist was like Okay sir you’ll need to pay the fee for somethingsomethingsomething.
Which is twenty thousand Naira.
Sorry what?
Hehehehee!!!! Wetin happen? What is the problem??!!
In my head I was thinking: What is this person saying?
Just to see the doctor? I’m not sick o. I didn’t come here with a heart attack. I’m fine– I just need to talk with a healthcare professional.
For some sort of a reference, twenty thousand Naira is like the cost of eight very solid meals. Say we label meals in any city from 1 to 5 based on price. 1 is a meal from like a roadside stall or a food truck, and 5 is the priciest of the priciest. Then by eight solid meals I mean eight meals which are a very good 3. And so depending on how frequently you eat out, that could be the amount you spend eating out in say a week if you eat out everyday or a couple weeks if you don’t.
People generally convert into dollars and go Oh X Naira is equivalent to Y dollars or so. I feel conversions like that are misleading because they do not take into account the purchasing power of the concerned amount of money, and how that varies with location. So whenever I hear stuff like “Soso people (whose primary legal tender is not denominated in USD) live on X dollars a day”, I’m like Jesus Why. Why.
I had some back and forths with the receptionist, and then at some point she said I should come talk with the manager of the place.
She took me into a different room. The manager was this dark-skinned thickset woman pointing out some things on a MacBook Pro screen to someone who looked like a young nurse.
The receptionist introduced me. And then the manager and I began to exchange words.
I explained that I just intended to talk with the doctor and ask some questions.
Usually with a hospital in Lagos, any sort of visit requires that some you have some sort of membership account. With a first-time visit you’ll need to have this account created, and this usually comes with a fee.
I was aware of this, however I was really just at the hospital for information. I wasn’t about to begin a treatment routine or anything, I was just there to talk with a doctor. And so it was pretty unsettling to think I would have to pay for the full package. I asked questions to know if there was a way around it somehow, but that didn’t seem to be the case.
I liked the way she spoke though-
So, I enjoy learning new words, I enjoy using new words, and I enjoy hearing people use interesting words.
The manager (she herself a doctor) and I exchanged some interesting words, and then at some point I thought Ah to hell with it. I’ll just pay this money and keep moving forward with life.
That was the first time I visited.
That was a few weeks ago.
I got here this morning and told the receptionist I intended to see the doctor for a follow-up on the initial appointment.
Got another glimpse of CNN in the waiting room.
The receptionist was like Okay sir you’ll need to pay the fee for somethingsomethingsomething.
Which is Sososo thousand Naira.
HAAAAAA!!!!!
What do you mean?!
I didn’t really register the amount she mentioned. I just registered the range. It was not too different from the amount I paid the first time. It might have even been the same thing.
For a follow-up?
The receptionist and I began to debate.
At some point she said I could discuss with her manager.
Manager wasn’t on seat so I had to give her a call.
We began to discuss.
Yes, hello?
Oh Yes Hello! Yes!
I began to explain the situation.
At some point we began to exchange words.
You this woman. You’ve come again. With your voice and your English. All you Doctor people. Leveraging my anxiety and my need to hear pertinent reassuring words from a healthcare professional. Leveraging that to empty my bank account.
Where is the money?! Where is it?!
We debated a bit more.
At some point she went, Alright don’t worry you can go see the doctor. I’m going to let this one slide.
Yeah that’s right you Manager Doctor woman. You’d better let it slide.
I’m in conversation with the doctor.
She just said something I find counter-intuitive.
This piece is one in a Series. A list of all of the pieces in this Series can be accessed here.
Image: A My Coffee shop at Victoria Island.
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