Anxious Ramble

Question: Have I gotten to the point in my life before which there exist decisions made- decisions which unmaking or making differently, would engender a radically different life for me?

Decisions for which if I had gone one way in lieu of the other, my life would have been different from what it is now? A difference of substantial magnitude?

From what it will be?

For better? For worse?

Have I?

Regret, what is regret.


“A single hurt colour and a system to pointing”


How justified is regret if the space of time that serves as justification for it, is very spatially diminutive relative to elapsed lifespan?

Is there point in crying now?

A life path is a series of lines in between a series of points which represent possible branches.

How much of a deviation exists between me and my counterfactual selves? How large?

Is there a parallel universe in which I am someone who would think lowly of my present occurred self?

Someone who would think extremely highly? Look up to?

If at every major life decision I pulled away from some people, then those people could function as an estimate for my counterfactual self.

How much space exists? How much of a deviation?


Is destiny real? Is it?

Is the myself down the line inescapable? Will I become that person irrespective of whatever deviations occur along the way, will I?

Consoling if the inevitable self is something to smile about.

How much are the decisions I make now going to affect my future life?

Is there a period in life where decisions taken are the most weighted? Am I in that stage of life?

Pressure seeps in, pressure.

Pressure seeps in.

Apprehension raises its head.

Conflict. Were my decisions the right ones? Were they? Are my decisions objectively sensible, or am I just jeopardizing the life of my future self?

I don’t know.

I wonder.

I really do wonder.

I really really do.


Anxious ramble.