Do I Want to Know?

Do I want to know?

How you’re doing?

I don’t know. I don’t know.

I definitely still care about you. The abrasiveness of how it all ended and the resulting scars made me think it’d be pleasant to never think of you again. To never have to entertain the memories of our time together.

Hah.

False. Very, very, false.

I still thought of you today.

And yesterday.

And the day before that.

And the day before that as well.

I get flashbacks of us together and I smile, I don’t know why.

I think I still miss you.

No.

I miss you. I definitely still miss you.

 

Most of the pain is gone now. The pleasant memories are outlasting the painful ones. That’s good. That’s good.

I miss your face. And your smile. And your voice. And your touch.

I should want to know how you’re doing. What life is like for you now. What you’re up to.

It’s so easy with the internet. Social media. And what not.

But I don’t know.

I don’t know how much you’ve moved on. I don’t know how far back in the past all of this is for you.

I don’t know.

And I’m scared. I’m scared you’ve forgotten. I’m scared you no longer even think about those times anymore.

I’m scared you no longer think about me.

I’m scared there’s someone else.

And I don’t want to get hurt. Not again. Not again.

 

So do I want to know?

How you’re doing?

What life is like for you now?

Ehh.

I think I’ll pass.

I think I’ll pass today.

 

PS: Life is about to get considerably annoying. Headed in a direction I do not really want. I don’t know how all of this is going to turn out. I don’t know.